Wednesday, April 1, 2009

Don't Take the Twilight News Too Seriously Today...

Because people just love to lie during this time of the year. You wouldn't want to give yourself a heart attack after reading some headline that says something completely ridiculous...

OMG! I just found out that Robert Pattinson is quitting acting this year because he's so tired of us annoying fans and that he will not be playing Edward in New Moon! Instead Taylor Lautner will take over the role of the hunky vampire!
WAIT! This just in...Taylor Lautner will ALSO be playing Bella, because Kristen Stewart has run away to get married to Rob!
OMG! I just found out that New Moon will be postponed until 2015 because of horrible accidents that recently ensued on the set! It appears that Chris Weitz was abducted by aliens while filming in Vancouver! And that's not all! Witnesses are also reporting that a stampede of elephants trampled the set - oh, and a few of the actors, too - and destroyed everything in their path! There is no report as of now whether these animals are under control, or whether it is just a rumor that Billy Burke was dressed as a cowboy and riding one of them...
OMG! I just found out that Stephenie Meyer is planning to burn every single copy of Twilight, New Moon, Eclipse, and Breaking Dawn ever produced so that none of us can ever read them ever, EVER again! So do not be alarmed if a big beefy guy suddenly appears at your door and demands that you give up any book of Stephenie Meyer's in your possession! Stephenie and her cohorts tell us that they WILL resort to consulting Volturi if fans do not obey!

Now, you see what I mean? If I had not warned you before hand, you might have taken these news reports seriously and started screaming and/or had a stroke.
So I will repeat myself one more time, so that it sticks in your head...
APRIL FOOLS! :D

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