Friday, August 29, 2008

Stephenie Meyer's Letter

Now that I've had a night to sleep after reading Stephenie Meyer's heart breaking announcement concerning where the illicit leaks leave Midnight Sun (if you could call tossing and turning sleep), I want express the emotions that are currently banging around in my head.

Initially, I was one hundred percent devestated. Call it pathetic, call it strange, call it stupid, call it whatever the heck you want. I didn't know my personal being could be so affected by one author's creations either - and especially a book that hasn't even been released. But upon reading the first chapter of Midnight Sun and after those promises from Stephenie Meyer that she was working hard to create a beautiful story from Edward - the character who's mind I've been most eager to delve into - to sit beside Bella's on the shelf, I was more excited about this book than I have been about any other in my history of reading. Then to have the hope ripped from my clutches so suddenly (honestly when I heard about the leaks, I didn't expect this kind of reaction from Stephenie when she found out), I felt hollow. It felt like a dream last night. "This can't be happening! It's April Fools in August! Wake up, darn it! *slapslap*" But even with the slaps, I haven't woken up from this nightmare.
Initially, I was also furious. I was furious with whatever killjoy decided to violate Stephenie Meyer so utterly. Way to go, moron! Thanks for ruining it for the rest of us! I bet you're feeling pretty spiffy right about now, huh? *bares teeth*
Initially, of course, I felt so so sorry for Stephenie. I wanted to give her a big old hug. I wanted to tell her that she has fans who love her by her side. I wanted to bake her a chocolate cake even though I can't cook to save my life.
Now those initial emotions have shifted themselves to the corners of my brain, so that they are still there and they are still screaming, but they have made room for some new feelings to sprout.
I do have hope, however infinitesimal it may be at the moment. Those two words, "on hold", are what keep Stephenie Meyer's letter from sounding so permanent. I also think that she wrote this note to the fans when she was feelings as crappy as could be. I think that once she takes some time realize that life throws junk at you, and you can't always dodge that junk, but when you do get hit you need to bounce back up with more force than before, her confidence may return. Curiosity and selfishness are inescapable falts of the human race. And the Internet, while it is the most ingenious creation of our time, only amplifies those falts. I have faith in Stephenie Meyer. I have faith that she will complete what she has already put her soul into because she owes it not to us, but to herself and to the characters that she loves so much. Love conquers all, Stephenie, wasn't that what the Twilight Saga was all about?
This also went through my mind: "Is it truly considered mal intent if the person who made these chapters public was only doing so out of excitement to share something amazing with those waiting so eagerly?"
I have to admit, there was a part of me that felt absolutely cheated. Like she'd been dangling a chocolate chip cookie (double chocolate chip) in front of my face, and I was so close to grasping that delicious treat, and then all of a sudden she yanked it away from my outstretched arms and ate it herself. Why must all her loyal fans have their hearts torn in two when one unreliable "friend" of Stephenie's is to blame? It felt like Stephenie Meyer's actions were immature, even self-absorbed. But then I realized how self-absorbed it was for me to believe that. Sure Stephenie Meyer could have been more careful with the manuscripts she was passing out like candy, but it's a sad thing in this world, that bitter sense of distrust that plaques our minds 24-7. Lawyers are everywhere you turn nowadays - and they can't ever seem to be trusted either. Where is the respect in this society? Stephenie Meyer is not to blame for being generous. Whoever made those scans and put them up on the internet for the world to devour is. at. fault. Period. And going back to how Stephenie Meyer's decision can be taken as immature and melodramatic - well, if us fans have a right to be depressed and outraged, then Stephenie Meyer, who's entire heart is the one entwined in those stories, has every right as well. She's only human. She's going to feel betrayed and dejected and there's no doubt that those heavy feelings will transmit to her writing if she were to continue as of now. She needs some time, and I say that as fans who have supported her through and through, we should be patient. I mean, imagine having someone you trusted with something you treasured so much (as Stephenie has said, her characters are like her children. That's part of what makes her stories so compelling) let you down, and then on top of that, have people who you once thought had your full support tear you apart because your latest book didn't follow what they wanted to happen - I'm talking about Breaking Dawn, here. If she never finishes Midnight Sun, then my respect for her probably will drop. There's a difference between taking some time to pick up the fallen pieces and giving up and leaving them there on the floor.
All of that being said (whew, who knew so many thoughts and emotions could be bottled up inside one person), I'm completely conflicted about reading those 12 leaked chapters she has posted on her site. On the one hand, it feels wrong right now. This isn't what Stephenie Meyer wanted us to read. She's not proud of it. I'd much rather enjoy the complete, polished, and worthy product than a broken chunk of it. On the other hand, everyone who has had the guts to read it has said it was beautiful, the best of the series. It drives me to the verge of tears, hearing that and thinking we may never get what had the potential be the cherry on the Twilight sundae. Those 12 chapters may be all we ever get. *chokes up*
As of now, I'm going to wait and I'm going to hope. I'm going to support Stephenie Meyer and I'm going to be on the lookout for the day she decides to slam her fist on the desktop and say "Darn it, Edward is going have his story told and there is nothing anybody can do about it!"
Until then, there's just one thing I'm extremely scared about. People are pointing fingers. Many of those fingers are pointing at a certain actor who has mentioned several times that he's read the partial Midnight Sun manuscript. Yep, Robert Pattinson. If it was him (and I do not believe that it is whatsoever) then I'm officially going to curl up in a ball and die.
What a lovely note to end on, yes?

Twilight, New Moon, Eclipse, Breaking Dawn, Midnight Sun, Robert Pattinson, Kristen Stewart, vampire, Edward Cullen, Bella Swan, Twilight Movie, Stephenie Meyer

1 comment:

Heather said...

I read the 12 chapters via her website and they were beautiful (as you pointed out), probably her best writing of the series because she's been maturing as a writer.

I agree that she has the right to be hurt/betrayed/etc., but she could really prove her mettle as an author if she chose to rise above this. I think that if the fans do provide support for what they've read so far (even with her caveat that it's an unedited manuscript), it might give her the courage to keep writing.

I think the situation may be compounded that this "leak" is coming on the back of all the negative back-lash she got for Breaking Dawn. August must have been a rough month for her; although, nobody ever said being a successful writer is easy--she'll have to rise above and prevail.

Is that too cliche?